I mean, I've
got a thousand suspicions, but I want to hear him say it.
Come on, tell me. TELL
ME. What's it like to never
talk? What's it like to
walk the earth and keep everything to yourself?!
Is it just a matter of finding the right person to spill to? You gotta be cool enough to talk to?
understand that that's the way I am.
Stop trying to make me into something I'm not," he says.
"But it's something you already DO," yes he knows how to talk.
He's talking right now, "I would just appreciate it if you
did MORE of it." Jeez,
it's not like I'm asking him to start wearing a skirt or something.
you just deal with it?"
feel stupid if I'm the one doing all the talking," though frankly I
must interject that right now is perhaps the only time we're matching
each other in word counts. "Why do you feel stupid doing all the talking?"
"Because YOU'RE NOT TALKING!"
"You shouldn't feel stupid.
I don't think you're stupid.
I'd feel stupid if I suddenly started talking."
if I want you to and would welcome any words?"
"What the fuck do you want me to talk about?
My day? What
I ate for lunch? What
I want out of life?" "Yeah,
let's start there. What
do you want out of life?"
"I don't know.
words for you. I
don't know. Happy?"
silence. I wish I could walk home.
I wouldn't mind at this point.
I sit and hem and haw and squirm and try to not say
anything. You want
silence, you got it pal. I
try to tell myself that just as it's killing me, it's hurting
him worse. Because he's gotta be wondering what I'm thinking.
He's gotta be twisting in the wind.
He's just gotta be.
And I'm not gonna say anything else.
Nope nope nope. Not me. If I say
anything, I'm gonna make it so much more worse. So don't say anything.
There's a part of me, that stupid little part of me that
just will not let it lie. There's
a part of me, deep deep deep down, that insists on destroying