And I give up.
Right then, right there. I
give up trying to hide, trying to plan, trying to plot.
I give up trying to figure out what he's thinking, and I sit
beside him on the steps.
No, it was not a fun night," I say.
And lean forward into his arms.
I grab hold of him, and the tears start to come.
I didn't know they were there, and yet as soon as they start,
they just won't stop, and I realize I had been holding them back all
it was not a fun night. And
I suspect it will not be a fun life from here on out.
And his arms
circle around me. And he holds me. And
he doesn't say anything, as usual.
I feel his lips on my forehead, I feel his hands smooth back my
hair. I sob like a damn
baby. And for once, for the
briefest of nights, the silence is just what I need.