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She starts babbling about how it's Aussie Bob's grandmother's ring, it's been in his family for centuries, Aussie Bob's the youngest in the family tree, and isn't it cool that it's gonna be passed on now, she feels like a part of history, she'll be part of a family tree, an Australian family tree, and how it's positively HISTORIC and all I can think about is that there's some strange alien sparkly wart thing on my best friend's hand.  My best friend doesn't get engaged.  My best friend doesn't get married.  My best friend stays single forever.  As long as I do.  My best friend stays single, neither of us ever get married, we never grow old ('cause we're in L.A.) and we never die.  It's fun to be a vampire, just like The Lost Boys, ha ha ha.

Seriously, I don't like change.  No, I don't like change like this.  Now, change as in I go to a party and meet a beautiful guy who becomes my boyfriend, talkative or not, that's okay.  Change like this is bad.

I'm so stunned that I don't hear the next part.  I look up from the foreign thing on her finger to her expectant face.  "What?"

 

"I'm moving to Australia!"  I hate change.  Change is never good.  "When?"  "Next week!"  "WHAT?"  And off she babbles some more about how Aussie Bob's father the rancher is retiring and calling him home to run the place and how you wouldn't think sheep ranching is big business in Australia but apparently it is, and Aussie Bob's dad has one of the biggest ones an hour outside of Sydney.  They're gonna live in Sydney, it's gonna be so wonderful.  "You can't move to Australia next week!  You don't like sheep!"  "I've never been around sheep."  "So why are you moving to a sheep farm!?"  "It's not like I'm gonna be the one herding them, for God's sake.  I'm the one living in Sydney!"  This is insane.  This does not happen.  Not like this.

I try to employ every logical reason for why this is a bad bad idea.  Uh, you just met him a month ago.  Hell, you were even talking yesterday about how you'd say yes if he proposed tomorrow.  Which he did.  This is insane.  This doesn't happen like this.  Her saying what she did yesterday means that it CAN'T happen.  She jinxed it.