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April 23, 2001

Tequila hangovers are the worst, I swear.  Feels like your head is just trying to melt from the inside out.  Any slight movement causes literal ripples from left to right.  Still, it does pass the time rather nicely, as I didn't wake up until 2 in the afternoon.  I always have weird dreams when drunk.  It's probably why I drink as much as I do.  And last night, I dreamed I was signing up for stripper school.  And nobody blinked twice about it.  Everybody thought it was a great idea.  Professionals were gonna teach me the intricate art of the lapdance.  And they wouldn't take just anyone.  You had to be considered worthy.
      

 

 

So I go to the school, which was in some building off the Sunset Strip, and it looked like it was adjoining some seedy motel parking lot.  And the owner was some hardass who looked me up and down.   And if this was real life, I would be highly offended (if this was real life, I wouldn't be auditioning for stripper school in the first place) but it was a dream, and I just stood there, giving him as much attitude as he was giving me, knowing that this would be the best way to get in.  No fear.  

At one point some stripper teachers come in with some problems that they have to talk to the owner about.  And I take the opportunity to prove how unafraid I am and doff every single stitch of clothing I have on.  And I'm standing in the classroom naked, unafraid, almost challenging.  The overwhelming feeling of This Is What I Have.  You Know It's Worth Something.