I mean, I know
what obsession is. Oh yeah.
I've been obsessed plenty of times.
Obsession is when you can't stop thinking about him, when you
drive past his house when he hasn't called.
Yeah, been there, done that.
And I know what total submersion is.
Total submersion is when you work him into every single
conversation with Ashley. Anything
from applesauce to zebra hunting. I
was walking past a store WITH ETHAN and we saw this zebra coat and we
made a joke about how many zebras did somebody have to hunt and kill to
make that coat. But love? This
has to be love because it hurts.
It only hurts now because you don't know if he feels the same.
If he does, hopefully it will turn into something better.
Oh, but how.
How to do it. How to
tell him. I'm as much for
nonconfrontation as anyone, and I would gladly just fritter (who came up
with that word anyway?) the days away, just pleased as punch (who came
up with THAT phrase?) to merely be in his presence except that FUCK this
hurts! It's one thing to
ache when he's not around, but now I'm aching when he IS around.
This thing, this horrible horrible thing inside of me, and how
can it be horrible because it's love, it's LOVE, it's supposed to be
beautiful, it's aching to be let out, it WANTS me to tell him.
And it's not gonna stop until I do tell him, and WHAT IF HE
DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME?
what it is. You can not
tell him and hurt, or you can tell him and run the risk of him breaking
it off because he thinks you're an obsessed psycho and you'll STILL
hurt. Or...you can tell him
and he'll feel the same and cue the cheesy violins and flowers bursting
You know what?
He's been hanging around you just as long as you have around him.
Yeah, that's usually how it
works, dumbass. Point
being that he's gotta feel something, right?
Or that he's getting sex on
a regular basis. Oh, I
don't think he's that kind of guy. No, let's give me that much credit, that I've spent enough
time with him to figure out if he's just in it for the sex or not.
He's not. I can say
that much. He's not, he's
not, he's not. There's just
these...things he does.