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I mean, I know what obsession is.  Oh yeah.  I've been obsessed plenty of times.  Obsession is when you can't stop thinking about him, when you drive past his house when he hasn't called.  Yeah, been there, done that.  And I know what total submersion is.  Total submersion is when you work him into every single conversation with Ashley.  Anything from applesauce to zebra hunting.  I was walking past a store WITH ETHAN and we saw this zebra coat and we made a joke about how many zebras did somebody have to hunt and kill to make that coat.  But love?  This has to be love because it hurts.  It only hurts now because you don't know if he feels the same. If he does, hopefully it will turn into something better.

Oh, but how.  How to do it.  How to tell him.  I'm as much for nonconfrontation as anyone, and I would gladly just fritter (who came up with that word anyway?) the days away, just pleased as punch (who came up with THAT phrase?) to merely be in his presence except that FUCK this hurts!  It's one thing to ache when he's not around, but now I'm aching when he IS around.  


This thing, this horrible horrible thing inside of me, and how can it be horrible because it's love, it's LOVE, it's supposed to be beautiful, it's aching to be let out, it WANTS me to tell him.  And it's not gonna stop until I do tell him, and WHAT IF HE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME?

Okay, here's what it is.  You can not tell him and hurt, or you can tell him and run the risk of him breaking it off because he thinks you're an obsessed psycho and you'll STILL hurt.  Or...you can tell him and he'll feel the same and cue the cheesy violins and flowers bursting into bloom.

You know what?  He's been hanging around you just as long as you have around him.  Yeah, that's usually how it works, dumbass.  Point being that he's gotta feel something, right?  Or that he's getting sex on a regular basis.  Oh, I don't think he's that kind of guy.  No, let's give me that much credit, that I've spent enough time with him to figure out if he's just in it for the sex or not.  He's not.  I can say that much.  He's not, he's not, he's not.  There's just these...things he does.