Yeah, it was a
pretty sucky day. I had this
audition, and I had managed to snag the play from a friend of a friend
of Ashley, instead of just whatever sides I could get from the casting
director. And this play was
good. It was REALLY good,
dammit, a Southern gothic potboiler about a girl who quits her job as a
temp and moves back home and in her restlessness starts poking around
her family's history, and figures out her father's not her father.
Ethan coached me all week long, reading all the other roles,
everything from a eighty year old matriarch to a pregnant sister to a
cheating brother in law to a long lost high school crush.
All the time he kept telling me how I could do it, how this role
was totally totally me. And
I had already thought that too, but I hadn't told him yet, and the fact
that he was helping me and encouraging me and that well hell, that he
BELIEVED in me. And if HE
says I can do it, I know I can.
his approval is the bar, and if he gives the go ahead, well,
I know I can do it now. Maybe
I wasn't sure if it was just me on my own. But
with him saying I can, then HELL YES I can.
I waltz up to this audition thinking I own the world.
Of course I do, Ethan said so, and I've always heard that
confidence in an audition does things that the actual audition
can't do, and I've got balls the size of Montana thanks to him.
I know I've got this nailed.
I'm gonna get the part and we're gonna go to Johnnie's
Pizzas afterwards because I haven't had carbs in like, a month.
I go up
to the stage when they call my name, and I deliver.
I know I fucking deliver.
I nailed that character, I know it, I could feel it, and
I would be the first person to admit if I was just showboating
to save my own ego, but it wasn't that, dammit, it wasn't, it
really really wasn't.