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March 21, 2001

It is the most wonderful day of my life!  I can look at the world and say Hey, this place is pretty good.  This earth is great!  I love my life!

And the funny thing is, I was almost thinking that way to begin with.  I was out in the backyard, sitting on one of those white plastic outdoor chairs that everybody has in their backyard.  The sun was warm and a nice breeze blowing.  The sky was a brilliant color blue.  And all I was doing was leaning back in the chair, legs stretched out in front of me.  The sun was in its last half hour on the way down, looking far away and pretty.  And I stared up at the clouds in the sky, and just watched them move and drift.  If you stare at them long enough, they feel like they're gonna smother you.  It's a funny kind of freaky.

And then I looked up, and there he was, walking up the driveway.
  I did the biggest double take in my life, it mustíve looked hysterical to him.  Because for a split second, I swear to God, I thought my brain had finally cracked open and all my thoughts were manifesting themselves into full blown hallucinations.

So I blink like a dumbass, and he smiles at me, still walking towards me, and I struggle to sit all the way up in the chair, and heís standing right next to me.  "Hi." He says.  "HÖ HÖ hi. What's up?"  I'm such a dumbass.  I can't be all cool, calm and sophisticated in the face of my fantasy.  I can't be like I was just wondering when you were gonna show up.  I'm getting what I'm wanting, and all I can do is stutter.  "South of Melrose, three blocks east of Fairfax, right?"  He says, "Probably never would've found you if I hadnít seen your car."  Oh my God is this really happening?  Can this really be happening?  It's crazy it's insane, things don't happen exactly as I want them to in real life.