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I dream about that.  I think the worst curse in the world is the child who dreams of gigantic things that are beyond their reach, but they’ll never figure that out until they’ve spent ten to twenty years in fruitless pursuit of it.  I wish all my life I had dreamed of the white picket fence.  I could be so much happier if that’s all I had wanted.  The white picket fence, the paunchy male pattern baldness husband, the two kids, the life as a real estate agent, or the local caterer, or the Symphony Guild president.  I could’ve pursued that life and gotten it in half the time.

I've been in L.A. for three years now, auditioning and not getting it, auditioning and not getting it.  And it's been three years and if I haven’t gotten anywhere, then the only conclusion, really, is…. well…. that I’m not supposed to be doing this.  That not only am I not supposed to be doing this, but that I’m not GOOD at it.  Which is weird, I think.  Because how can you want to do something so much, with all of your heart, and not be good at it?  

  Isn’t the American Dream to do something you love and get paid for it?  Why doesn’t it say anything about wanting to do something you love and really sucking at it?  How many movies or plays have you sat through that sucked?  And it wasn’t for the lack of effort.  A bunch of people worked really really hard to create a really bad piece of entertainment.  They worked their asses off for it to be good.  And it sucks.  What does that say?  The Little Engine That Could, Can’t.  I remember reading some fairy tale analysis book that said The Little Engine That Could was the worst story for kids, because it taught them to keep trying and trying, no matter if they were actually competent enough to complete the task at hand.  They keep doing it, and keep failing.  What do you say to these people?  Good effort, but you still suck?  Everybody sucks.