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February 19, 2001

Okay this is me.  

This is me and this is what I'm doing, and I don't know why I'm writing this like somebody else is gonna read it.  I'm not planning on showing it to anybody.  Nobody's gonna read this.  This is for me.

  So hello me who will one day flip back to the very first page to see how it all started.  Hi future me.  I sure hope that where you are when you're reading this is better than where I am as I write this.  Ah no.  Not really.  It's not like things are awful awful.  It's not like there was some big horrible event that prompted me to buy this thing and start scribbling away.  Like a guy dumped me, or I lost my job, or some family member died and I got a whiff of mortality or something.  Nope, just…well, okay, I don't have the money for a shrink.  And there's only so much time I have to bend Ashley's ear off before she'll get tired of me bitching.  So maybe if I write stuff down, I can help myself through it.  Not quite sure how that'll work.  Perspective.  That's the word I'm looking for.  Hopefully this will be an experiment in perspective.  That I can figure out what I'm doing wrong in my life and fix it. I mean, I don't mind figuring out I'm stupid on my own.  Better me than somebody else figuring that out.  I mean, I already know I'm a dumbass, so I'm already halfway there.